10 months ago:
9:30 am. Wake up. Spend morning watching television and drinking coffee in bed.
11 am. Consider going to class as a viable option.
11:30 am. While watching Jeopardy, realize that I'm on a roll. Opt to skip class to further my knowledge of trivia.
12:30 pm. Eat 1/3 box of Oreo cookies for lunch. Vow to seriously consider going on a diet. Realize that fail-proof method of "willing yourself thin" may not actually be fail-proof. It's actually just a sophisticated version of denial.
2 pm. Attend afternoon class. Commend self on very true-to-life rendition of History professor drawn in notebook. Brief nap.
3:45pm-7pm. Work as cashier at union grill. Hate the very existence of customers. Help self to free food. Make lots of plans about how productive I will be after I get off of work.
7pm. Prime-time television. Finish remaining Oreos.
12 am. Realize 7 page paper is actually due at 9 am tomorrow. Panic. Make coffee for the long night ahead.
12:30 am. Continue to panic, but even harder as coffee has heightened level of anxiety. E-mail teacher for extension.
Today:
5:30 am. Wake up to sound of not one, not two, but three blaring alarm clocks, all going off at different times. Realize that no one in their right mind is up at this hour. Head to gym.
7am. Arrive at gym. Realize that given the fact that it's 7 am and I'm on a treadmill, and that I haven't just fallen asleep on a treadmill somehow, it might officially be time I check myself into a psychiatric clinic for help.
9ish. Arrive at work. Leave again to get coffee. Check e-mail a minimum of 105 times during work.
10am-5ish. Contemplate places I'd rather be. Make big plans for what I will do after I get off of work.
6-10pm. Arrive at home. Top off a frozen dinner with six packets of Sugar-free, fat-free hot chocolate or 7 popsicles. Prime-time television.
10:30pm. Set alarm clocks. Go to bed.
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