While we're on the subject of babies, I was just looking through my work inbox, and uncovered the e-mail proclaiming the baby's arrival to the world. I wonder what Jesus' birth announcement e-mail would have looked like had it been sent around Mary & Joseph's places of employment. I thought I'd relay the message to you, in case you are the person in charge of announcing the birth of babies in your workplace. Or if you are in charge of announcing rapidly approaching natural disasters. I think they use standard formatting, you can just insert the appropriate baby's name. Any removal of exclamation points is strictly discouraged.
Subject: Baby [insert last name here] is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Message body:
Hello All,
[Name of mother] has just given birth to a beautiful baby [boy/girl]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not know the weight or height yet, but will pass this information along as soon as I hear! CONGRATULATIONS [father] & [mother] and welcome baby [last name]!!!!!!!! We love you!!!!
Love,
[Your name here]
You may want to consider adding the following:
"Any Christmas bonuses/tuition reimbursements/weekly paychecks you would normally receive at this time or in the next three years time will be donated to the baby's college fund. If the baby is too stupid to get into a state or community college, but demonstrates potential in modeling, this money will be used towards color headshots and modeling school, and to foster an eating disorder. Additionally, any of your unused paid time off will be donated to [the mother], so that she can spend six extra months trying to lose the weight she gained from her pregnancy before she comes back to work. WELCOME, [baby]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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